Available for employment

by Shriniwas Joshi

Engineer RSS Chauhan sends me interesting e-mails. Recently he sent me one in which 75- year-old Kenneth Way had applied in a different way to Wal-Mart and got selected. That has stimulated me to say “I am available for employment”. If there is any employer looking out for a 75-year young, here is my bio-data:

Name: Shriniwas Joshi (People call me-Sattar-bahattariya fuddduddy)

Sex: I agree with former Samajwadi leader Amar Singh telling Bipasha Basu, “Age matters. But between the legs.

Education: It gives knowledge: knowledge is power and power corrupts. Yes, I am educated.

Desired position: Deserve to be the Chief Executive Officer but that post is for catty, cunning, cut-throat competitor, so any post other than that.

Desired salary: Lofty Salary: Super-duper accommodation: Lamborghini Murcielago car: Efficient Servants or else you recommend; I accept.

Last position held: Do not know because after my retirement, the court decided a long pending case and informed me that the position that I held was deemed to have been held as if I did not hold that.

Most notable achievement: An incredible collection of Himachali caps and woollen mufflers that were presented to me whenever I climbed the stage as Chief Guest, etc. Reasons for leaving: Blame the Pay Commission; it did not consider government service as STD (Service till Death).

Hours of work: In government, de-facto office hours are from 1.30 to 2.30 with an hour off for lunch.

Do you have special skills?: I cannot disclose those: reserved for intimate settings.

Do you have any physical shortcoming that may hamper your job? : I am a little blind and deaf. But they say:’ “Be a little blind to your juniors and a little deaf to your seniors: you will pull on well anywhere.”

Have you ever won an award or recognition?: Government service and awards? It is an “ID Ten T I See” question. Never heard of this expression? Write it like ID IO T IC and improve vocabulary.

What would you like to be doing after five years? Shaking hands with Mr. God.

Nearest relative: 7730 miles or 12437.57 km. away as the Boeing flies.

Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge? Yes, if I am not suffering from an attack of dementia.”

Source Link: http://www.tribuneindia.com

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